Turning Trading into Gaming

Recently, I started reading New Trading for a Living by Dr. Alexander Elder, which is on day trading in the stock market for those serious about eventually turning it into a main source of income. While going through the Psychology chapter, I realized that much of what he was saying was not limited to his field of day trading, but also equally applicable to cold approach. Elder named 3 pieces that make a good trader: the right psychology, the right systems to follow, and the right risk-management plan. These other 2 parts are also fitting but we will focus on the first for now. One good quote that he mentions early is, "The majority of traders spend most of their time looking for good trades. Once they enter a trade, they don’t manage it but either squirm from pain or grin from pleasure. They ride an emotional roller coaster and miss the essential element of winning—the management of their emotions. Their inability to manage themselves leads to poor risk management and losses." Specifically in day trading, traders are led by the fear and pain of losing or the greed and pleasure that comes from winning. In Elder's opinion, neither of these is where the budding trader should place his/her focus; it is in the correct, technical execution of trades where our efforts and energy should lie. Said by him, "The goal of a good trader, paradoxically, is not to make money. His goal is to trade well. If he trades right, money follows almost as an afterthought." The same is intrinsically true about cold approach. A focus on sex or "getting laid" will lead to mediocre results, because the outcome is, and will remain, out of your control. The best thing you can do is to execute a flawless, as-close-to perfect-as-possible interaction from start to finish, giving your girl an amazing experience, and more often than not, this process-orientation will lead to the girlfriends, one-night-stands, etc. that you want.

He continues, "A professional trader from Texas invited me to his office and said: “If you sit across the table from me while I day-trade, you won’t be able to tell whether I am $2,000 ahead or $2,000 behind on that day.” He has risen to a level where winning does not elate him and losing does not deflate him. He is so focused on trading right and improving his skills that money no longer influences his emotions." Ditto for us in field. It is much easier said than done, but we should strive to reach the point where we are so focused on technical execution that we are not moved and swayed by either losses or wins. Both are incidental, but our actions, guided by our desire and long term plans, will always matter the most.

We know by now that our self-identity and self-understanding play a major role in what happens in our romantic lives, self-belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy to an astounding degree, and unresolved trauma rears its ugly head in all of the relationships that we have. "In all thy getting, get understanding", Proverbs 4:7 says, and the most important understanding is that of our own habits of mind and speech, the destructive ideas we harbor about ourselves and others, the good things we do not believe we are worthy of, and the great lengths to which these tendencies influence what we do have. Elder writes, "The trouble with self-fulfillment is that many people have self-destructive streaks. Accident-prone drivers keep destroying their cars, and self-destructive traders keep destroying their accounts. Markets offer vast opportunities for self-sabotage, as well as for self-fulfillment. Acting out your internal conflicts in the marketplace is a very expensive proposition." Our internal conflicts come out in everything that we do in field, let us prepare in advance for this with a counter point: to design a new self-image, a new destiny for ourselves based on the highest ideals we believe we are capable of.