The Seller Becomes The Buyer
- Shaka Piontkowskie
- Oct 14, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Jan 29

Imagine a merchant going around, desperately trying to sell his goods to anyone that will look at him. He has no standards for his customers; he is trying to eat, to survive. He throws his wares in front of as many people as possible, as quickly as possible, with no flair or personal touch, no allure, just hoping that someone will say yes to him and give him some money. Unfortunately, people seem to be repulsed by his offerings and repay his "hard work" (if you could call it that) with more rejections.
Let's imagine a second merchant who is also looking for customers, but the right kind. His products are of the highest quality he can muster, with favorable results in how they stack up to the rest. His products are not just things that he sells, it's a belief system, it's an identity, only created for the RIGHT TYPE of client. He will happily REFRAIN FROM SELLING to any customer that he does not deem to be a good fit; he interviews his customers like a person looking for a new hire. His wares are a specific brand, for a specific lifestyle and social group. He knows that if he waters down his customer selection, he might make more money, but then again he might NOT, because he realizes that people pay cheaply for things they actually need, but pay dearly for things that they want, that are aspirational, that join them to a certain club or group, that distinguish them as a certain person. He is extremely selective about whose hands his products end up in, so much so that it often seems like HE is the buyer, not the customer.
How most guys approach (no pun intended) cold approach is the first way. They approach any and every girl, anywhere they see them, and "sell" themselves to her in the HOPES that she will "decide to buy". They don't actually believe they themselves are much of a catch, that is why they plop themselves in front of any ol' girl, and pray she decides to have sex with him. SHE is actually the catch, he is the faulty goods being sold. Unbeknownst to many of these guys, there is a level beyond what they're doing, where women CHASE THEM, where they have to TURN GIRLS DOWN because there's a long cue waiting for a shot at him. This is not about being a celebrity, it IS about conducting yourself psychically and technically as the BUYER instead of being the desperate SELLER. Let's start with the psychic (mental) part of this equation:
1) there are endless numbers of girls that fit well with you.
2) the better you get, the more access you have to them
3) the more access, the more willing to walk away from any situation or relationship and the stronger your leverage
4) you've had tons of sex and tons of women in your life, so you only choose the best
Remember These
Her physical appearance is not enough for you to make a decision on her.
You will happily walk away from any girl who might not be or is not a good fit for you.
Your ability to go anywhere you desire and do well with women IS abundance.
Exercises to Develop This
Pay attention to the dynamics of your interactions: who is impressing who, who is denying who, who is validating who, who is objecting to who, who is working for who, who is escalating on who, who is confessing attraction to who.
Find times where women worked for, escalated on, confessed attraction for you, break down what you did, said, and thought, and use those things routinely.
Regularly get contacts and deliberately do NOT follow up with them.
When in set, once you've reached a solid hook point where you feel that the girl you're talking to is enjoying the conversation, test her buy-in by going dead silent and letting her pick the conversation back up again.
Aim to make your 1st flirt a cocky-funny line instead of simply showering praise on her physical appearance.
Bait her into escalating on you by proximity without touch, and teasing her about her desire to do so.
PS. If you like and find this material helpful, send us an email at attraction.institute.nyc@gmail.com to receive more helpful mindset and technique tips like these.
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