Your Cold Approach Journey In A Nutshell

You are confronted with a task to do yet are stunted from trying because of fear.

Approaching.

Staying and conversing.

Flirting.

Physical touch.

Getting a number.

Taking her home.

At every stage of the journey you have beliefs about how possible or impossible what you're trying to do is, and a massive amount of fear that seems to scare you away from the edge.

Your mind is moving a thousand miles a minute, aiming to convince you that the unknown consequences of the action you desire to take are not worth it, to stay settled right where you are regardless of how it drains you to do so.

It's right to do so, because your thoughts, feelings, and actions are what you identify as. They are YOU. If you change them, in some small way, you are beginning the process of personal change, which calls up the unknown and is frightening to all of us.

All change is identity change. Stable thoughts, feelings, and beliefs produce a stable life. Not a happy or fulfilled one, and not one where dating possibilities abound. Just a stable one.

There is a part of all of us that craves certainty and security more than anything else. This part constantly does battle with the part that wants new and better things, that wants to grow and become a fuller version of itself.

This part of you is the part that's screaming at you. Telling you "why try?". "Why even bother?" "Women today aren't worth the effort". "Dating has gone to shit." "Women have it easy and men have to do all the real work." This part is working hard to convince you to just stay the same.

If you give in and do not take the required action, your "monkey mind" and old identity become stronger and more entrenched. The result is more of what you already have that you do not want.

If you hear the fear talking, acknowledge it, allow it to say whatever it says, and then approach, escalate, get her number, pull IN SPITE of your mind racing, mark that moment. That is a bonafide, certified victory. You have just taken ONE STEP in the right direction DESPITE your doubts, worries, and fears trying to pull you down a different path. You have made it one step easier for yourself to live the life you truly want.

Now, the key is continuing to make the same right choice whenever you're confronted with that situation. Is it possible you will slip back into fear-based old habits once in a while? It is more than possible, it's guaranteed. However, if you show up for yourself enough times, if you make the right choice enough times, there will come a time when it is easier to act in the direction of what you want than what you don't want. I repeat, if you keep taking correct action regardless of your emotional state, there will come a time when your emotions end up backing you instead of attempting to drag you in the opposite direction.

You have officially crossed "the river of change" and become a brand-new person. As it turns out, that's what you have been aiming for all along, whether you knew it or not.

To go from beginner with very little experience with women to a rockstar with women is an IDENTITY CHANGE, facilitated by changing your habitual thoughts, feelings, and actions.

You may look the same, but the truth is that the beginner who started the journey no longer exists. He has been replaced by a different being. Outside of sharing physical appearance, the beginner you and the you at that point have nothing in common, they are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

It all starts by leaning past your fears and doing what you know in your heart you should be doing. This entire metamorphosis is a process of slightly pushing on your fears until they give way to something greater and grander.

The biggest tool in your arsenal for chipping away at this excess and producing a new you is the self-discipline, the will, the drive to train yourself to lean into discomfort just enough to get done what needs to be done.

If you can get yourself to do what needs to be done for an extended period of time, you become something else. Someone else. A much more accomplished, proud, dynamic version of yourself, equipped with all the bells, whistles, and girls that you want.

In the beginning was the first right action, and it paved the way for the rest.

PS. For more tips and advice to make your cold approach journey more worthwhile, sign up for the newsletter at manaliveapproach@gmail.com or https://shakapiontkowskie.wixsite.com/manalive