How To Stop Being The Pushy Intermediate Guy

This article will contain a bit more detail than others I've done, specifically because it's for guys who have already been approaching and have a decent degree of success. Any beginners reading this will have to keep this reading in mind as aspirational, something to work towards.

I can't count the number of guys I've talked to who think that pushy intermediate game is actually high-level. There's a reason for that, though. Almost no one makes it to intermediate, let alone past this stage. It becomes normal for guys in cold approach to think that this is the limit.

What if I told you that it's possible to make simple tweaks in your mindset and technique to completely change this, and ramp up your results?

But I say simple, not easy.

It's going to take adjusting to this way of thinking and acting, just like it took adjustment to reach the level you're currently at.

Let's define the pushy intermediate for starters.

As a beginner, you don't know how to do a single thing: start a conversation, keep one going, getting "man-to-woman" verbally or physically, checking logistics and moving the set forward toward a conclusion.

As a pushy intermediate, however, you know these things, which gets you some nice results. Dates here, some girls in your bed, a few flings, maybe even a long-term arrangement; nothing wrong with any of those. What IS wrong is how much work it takes and who's doing the work, specifically you! Intermediate guys push hard for numbers, push even harder for dates, harder than that for sex, and are always "trying to stay top of mind" with girls that they're already seeing.

The "intermediate curse" is believing that girls don't chase, that you always have to be doing,doing,doing in order to get results. "Closed mouths don't get fed", they say, as they push a hesitant girl for her number, then send her endless texts to change her mood and get her to go out with them. They go on dates and push, push, push to get their girl home, only to run into last minute resistance and push too hard to get past it.

Unbeknownst to them, there IS a level where things are completely different: girls are seeking to impress and convince you that they're right for you, looking to take your contact, get you on dates, and so on. We tend to call it "chasing", but maybe "working for you" is a more accurate definition.

Let's start understanding this distinction between levels by looking at buyer/seller dynamics.

Imagine a merchant going around, desperately trying to sell his goods to anyone that will look at him. He has no standards for his customers; he is trying to eat, to survive. He throws his wares in front of as many people as possible, as quickly as possible, with no flair or personal touch, no allure, just hoping that someone will say yes to him and give him some money. Unfortunately, people seem to be repulsed by his offerings and repay his "hard work" (if you could call it that) with more rejections.

Let's imagine a second merchant who is also looking for customers, but the right kind. His products are of the highest quality he can muster, with favorable results in how they stack up to the rest. His products are not just things that he sells, it's a belief system, it's an identity, only created for the RIGHT TYPE of client. He will happily REFRAIN FROM SELLING to any customer that he does not deem to be a good fit; he interviews his customers like a person looking for a new hire. His wares are a specific brand, for a specific lifestyle and social group.

He knows that if he waters down his customer selection, he might make more money, but then again he might NOT, because he realizes that people pay cheaply for things they actually need, but pay dearly for things that they want, that are aspirational, that join them to a certain club or group, that distinguish them as a certain person. He is extremely selective about whose hands his products end up in, so much so that it often seems like HE is the buyer, not the customer.

How most guys approach (no pun intended) cold approach is the first way. They approach any and every girl, anywhere they see them, and "sell" themselves to her in the HOPES that she will "decide to buy". They don't actually believe they themselves are much of a catch, that is why they plop themselves in front of any ol' girl, and pray she decides to have sex with him. SHE is actually the catch, he is the faulty goods being sold.

The psychic (mental) part of this equation:

 1) there are endless numbers of girls that fit well with you.

 2) the better you get, the more access you have to them

 3) the more access, the more willing to walk away from any situation or relationship and the stronger your leverage

 4) you've had tons of sex and tons of women in your life, so you only choose the best

Remember These

Her physical appearance is not enough for you to make a decision on her.

You will happily walk away from any girl who might not be or is not a good fit for you.

Your ability to go anywhere you desire and do well with women IS abundance.

There's an extra question you might have: "is it possible to adopt a buyer frame if I'm the one approaching?"

Absolutely!

Think about this analogy for flipping the frame when you're the one starting off: as a buyer of goods and services, you're the one going to the store, BUT you do NOT have to spend money. Nor do you have to sell yourself on buying goods, that's the job of the sales team there. Even if online, YOU pull up the website, but it's the WEBSITE'S JOB to entice you to buy.

Just because you start the interaction does not mean that you need to sell yourself to her.

Exercises to Develop This

1. Pay attention to the dynamics of your interactions: who is impressing who, who is denying who, who is validating who, who is objecting to who, who is working for who, who is escalating on who, who is confessing attraction to who.

2. Find times where women worked for, escalated on, confessed attraction for you, break down what you did, said, and thought, and use those things routinely.

3. Regularly get contacts and deliberately do NOT follow up with them.

4. When in set, once you've reached a solid hook point where you feel that the girl you're talking to is enjoying the conversation, test her buy-in by going dead silent and letting her pick the conversation back up again.

5. Aim to make your 1st flirt a cocky-funny line instead of simply showering praise on her physical appearance.

6. Bait her into escalating on you by proximity without touch, and teasing her about her desire to do so.

7. Write out 5 non-negotiable positive traits that girls you allow in your life must have besides looks, and 5 non-negotiable negative traits women in your life cannot have regardless of how good they might look. Convey these through story, statement, or question in all of your sets.

PS.If you're newer and would like an introductory course on how to begin your cold approach journey, check out An Approach To Remember here : https://shakapiontkowskie.wixsite.com/manalive/challenge-page/66c5e5c2-281c-4cab-84eb-2bda04cf3358

PPS. Take a look at some of the Youtube stuff I've done to help guys along their journey as well https://youtu.be/8SySo9HoZKs