Bangin' the Guns

There is no greater feeling than just going out and doing the damn thing. When I went out tonight, which was a late session, I had not planned on staying out for a long time. Once I braved the cold and wound up in the venue, I was met with a feeling that has not hit me in years: I just wanna game. Regardless of the outcome, I just want to show up and go at it. Sex, inconsequential. Win, lose, or draw, I just want to play the game. I was just excited to go run a session, solely for the sake of doing it.

I realized that this is where the true joy lies for me. Just the ability to go out, run a good heavy session, enjoying it for its own sake is a blessing that I had ignored for so long. There was a period of time where results meant everything, even at the sake of my own long-term progress, I chased some pull, sex, girl, etc. that would allow me to justify my action, justify my spending time in field, justify the long days and nights in this thing. Part of it was trying to keep up with the crowd. More guys get into this trying to satisfy their ego than aiming to give girls amazing experiences. It led to a lot of action takers back in the day, but also led to lots and lots of frantic, futile action. For a while, I even believed that it was all results and that if I never had to go out again, I would do just that. I was wrong! Cold approach is a soul endeavor for me, it means the world, it is my world, and I see no reason to ever stop it for anything.