All Talk, All Action

Last night was the first Friday nightgame session I've done in a long (enough) time. I had the intention of saying hi to some friends who were out and about and then going on my way to get some sets done. While I was there with them, in the midst of catching up, I was able to drop approaches into the mix and and make my time all-inclusive. I was being social in general and adding in starting conversations with girls I wanted to meet; a very important part of night game but one that I feel is very often overlooked. Bars, clubs, lounges, etc. are social environments: people go there to reconnect with people they've met before and know, or possibly build connections with others that they do not yet know (one reason why I think professional mixers of all kinds are held in bars or lounges, usually).

Many guys getting into this seem to think that you have to show up in a night venue and forcefully approach everything you see, not taking into account that it is a place designed for mingling. Yes, it might be good to sometimes see a girl you like and go straight for her, even if you've been sitting on the sidelines nursing your drink most of the night. But...why not try to mingle and mix with as many people as possible? There's a good chance that your desired girl is looking around and seeing you look dejected on the wall by yourself. We can all agree that that specific image of you is not going to get her juices flowing to want to talk to you. On the flip side, what if she sees a confident guy making his way through the crowd, talking to tons of people, some for more time and some for less. A majority of these interactions are positive; now all of a sudden that guy ,who looks well liked and popular enough even though he created that scenario from scratch, comes to talk to her. In which case do you think she would be more receptive?

Years ago, RSD Julien had a video about The Hub, which is creating a social circle inside of the venue with the people around you. You meet one group of girls that you might or might not be interested in, hit it off with them and either take them as winggirls to introduce to sets with guys in them or bounce on and off them throughout the night as your new posse. He explained that 9 times out of 10, when he gets the girls he really likes from nightgame, it's not rolling up to a set randomly and trying to take a girl away, it's because he's built his "hub", his social proof group earlier on in the night and that gives him extra leverage and goodwill with the girls he likes. Being a social, fun, friendly guy is a plus and adds to his incredible game. Next time you're out, high five and compliment everyone you can whether they're an attractive girl or not, give them the gift of a good time on the town. You'll see the added sociality coming through to aid your approaches.