3 Reasons to Never Open Direct

There is always a debate somewhere in the community about what styles of openers are best to use, and when. There are people who swear by direct, which is a straight-forward complimentary style; others prefer indirect, which has you start a conversation about something other than how attracted you are to her, something arbitrary, and later you flirt when she's more comfortable. Obviously, context and situation depends a lot on which to choose, and even though in many cases it's best to never say never, I'll give you 3 reasons you should never open direct style.

1. The way most guys go about direct opening is that they give a girl a huge validation at the beginning of the interaction, and never again flirt or verbally escalate with that girl. Besides it usually being too early in the set to do that on the open, it lacks a escalating, consistent flirt structure to build on that brings life to the interaction. Telling her you find her cute one time at the beginning of the set is NOT ENOUGH. To talk about everything from the weather to cats and dogs to favorite food without being able to increasingly flirt means the interaction is wasted and you haven't accomplished much "man-to-woman" communication.

2. You are actually forcing her to reject you. The concept of attraction styles as mentioned in Emily Nagoski's book Come As You Are sheds light on this; the majority of us men feel our attraction to women in what is called "spontaneous desire": as soon as we see a woman we like, we're ready to have sex, without even knowing anything about her. We also call this "light switch" style attraction. This style, however, is the opposite of how most women feel attraction for a man. The majority of women experience "contextual desire", meaning if you do the right things, at the right time, in the right situation, then sex with you will cross her mind. Liken it to a volume knob; the more charismatic, confident, witty, engaging, etc. that she sees you as over a period of time, the more she becomes attracted to you. When you open direct, you are forcing the girl to make a split-second decision about you based on knowing absolutely nothing about you, besides the fact that you were confident enough to come up to her in the first place (which she might find out later is not truly deep rooted confidence). You're essentially saying, "I like you, even though I know nothing about you! Do you like me as well, even though you know nothing of me either?" Nine times out of ten, her response will be "thanks, but no thanks".

3. By having too strong of a start, you're making your interactions feel worse overall. Starting with a compliment is a high point which, if not sustained and built upon, will cause the interaction to feel like it's getting worse, even if the changes aren't drastic. This is why it is said that you should enter a group or set SLIGHTLY above the energy level that the girl(s) are at; too low and you don't "pack enough punch" to command attention, too high and not only is it likely to give off entertainer/dancing monkey vibes BUT it's also unsustainable and will give the girls the impression that over time, their time spent with you is getting more and more flat and unexciting. You want your interactions to feel like they are always improving the longer she spends time with you; to accomplish this it's best to open as low energy, normal, even as bland as possible. It's easier to do this well in daygame as opposed to nightgame, initially, but you want to make it a rule that you follow, with no exceptions.

If you've read all of this and just cannot let go of compliment openers for the time being, at least pair your compliment with a tease, push-pull style or go with a cocky-funny style line. For example: "You're the most elegant girl I've seen all night...well...at least in the last 5 minutes...still counts for something..." or (for cocky-funny), "Hey, you look familiar...you remember me? (She says no, most likely) I'm the handsome guy you dreamt about meeting last night!"